Global Warming?
More like, global un-warming… with a heaping side of snow. If you’re in southern California today, April 20th, you know that it’s cold and raining/snowing (if you leave near a mountain/snow slug nest). If you’re in any other part of the country… um… you are also experiencing some type of weather or another. I don’t know, I tend not to care about the weather in any other part of the country, except for the one that I’m currently in, which of course, (mis)shapes my conception of crackpot theories(see title), and further, leads to a 20% increase in run-on sentences, liberal use of commas, and other such grammatical phenomena.
So with Earth Day coming up, I thought I would expound a little, and offer my liberal hippy friends (they’re not really my friends, I just like the smell of patchouli and the loose hippy chicks that like to get down) a suggestion about what they could protest, cuz lord knows they’ve run the fuck out of ideas. They’ve been bitching about trees, whales, war, and blacks since the 60’s. They need to get with da TiMez, son.
The idea? You guessed it, Global Cooling. I don’t know about you guys, but it’s freaking obvious the Earth isn’t getting hotter, and by that, I mean the weather in my hometown at this very second isn’t getting hotter. And just like celebrities concentrate on feeding the Ethiopians and adopting the Asians, and they forget about everybody else in the less exotic world, why not look over in the direction of those wishing for a nice, warm day today? Huh? Why not? Come on… COME ON… COME ON!!! You’d be pretty cool and hip for trying to raise awareness of the effects of Global Cooling in a town that nobody’s ever heard of, Madongelina Penn Baldwin.
What is soo global and warming about this picture, taken not but a mere seconds ago:
Yeah, that’s an elementary school.
Children need dirt and sand, not snow. You wouldn’t want to deprive the children from experiencing the wonders of the playground, would you? Get started, Earth-loving MoFos.
*Quick Note: Do you guys remember Jacob? Well, he ran the Boston Marathon! That’s right! Go read about his experience.
“I don’t know about you guys, but it’s freaking obvious the Earth isn’t getting hotter, and by that, I mean the weather in my hometown at this very second isn’t getting hotter.”
Let me help you out. The ‘global’ in global warming doesn’t refer to your school yard.
I don’t know if your internet is allowed to link to sites outside of Madongelina Penn Baldwin, but if it does you can verify the following
2004:…. fourth-hottest on record, extending a trend since 1990 that has registered the 10 warmest years, a U.N. weather agency said Wednesday.
2005:…. the warmest year in over a century, according to NASA scientists studying temperature data from around the world.
2006: Climatologists at the NASA Goddard Institute for Space Studies (GISS) in New York City have found that 2006 was the fifth warmest year in the past century.
Comment by Tom W — April 22, 2007 @ 9:58 am
I’m surprised you didn’t try to rail me on the Chupacabra Sightings page. At least, I know that we’re on the same page, when “mythical” creatures are involved.
Question: are you a liberal hippy who doesn’t understand satire?
Comment by HoboJazzian — April 22, 2007 @ 3:27 pm