Ghetto Revival
VH1– Brav-fucking-o. VH1 has hit an all-time low in reality television. Nobody thought that it could be done by anyone other than FOX. Oh, they were wrong.
How they did it:
The Surreal Life
A clusterfuck of celebrity has beens grouped together in house. Yup. That’s it.
Highlight: They go shopping for food. Oh, and that one guy that doesn’t like grape jelly throws a hissy fit.
Hogan Knows Best
Another reality show documenting a (rich) has been with his imbecilic family.
Highlight: Anytime the Hulk says “brother” or references one of his cheesy lines from when people cared about him and you overcome the feeling to commit suicide.
Celebrity Paranormal Project
This show documents “celebrities” being “scared” by “ghosts.” It’s pretty much for the celebrities too barren to be in their own reality show, and for those who don’t want to fall back into obscurity.
Highlight: Anytime the celebrity sweatily turns around to look for the assistant slamming doors.
I Love New York
Some ghetto fabulous bitch who thinks she’s all that, accompanied by a bunch of closeted homosexuals who want to “date” her. It’s fucking absurd.
Highlight: The whole show.
The (White) Rapper Show
Pretty much what it sounds like, except it works through masochism. This show is soo bad, I recommend you watch it. This is probably the reason I decided to waste minutes of my life writing about something that I disdain soo much yet can’t keep from watching.
Highlight: The rapper who keeps pushing for a “ghetto revival,” all while trying to convince himself that he understands what it means.
If you need a self-esteem booster, now you know where to turn to. Also, if you feel like you can’t hate enough (or think you can’t unconditionally hate something or someone), be ready to be proven wrong… very, very wrong.
